An online literary magazine.
 
HomeHome  PortalPortal  CalendarCalendar  Return to Post website.  MemberlistMemberlist  UsergroupsUsergroups  SearchSearch  FAQFAQ  RegisterRegister  Log inLog in  

Share | 
 

 Miserable Existence's Application

Go down 
AuthorMessage
Zaphodora
Dedicated Staff
Dedicated Staff
avatar

Posts : 109
Join date : 2011-06-28
Location : The Far Side

PostSubject: Miserable Existence's Application   Thu Jul 21, 2011 8:41 am



Name: Miserable Existence, Attorney at Law

Age: 7 in dog years

E-mail: happymonkeysquad@gmail.com

Position you want (Columnist/Sub-Editor): Columnist

Essay on Why You're Qualified:
I am qualified because I am a writer who is very self-motivated and not easily discouraged by things. I meet deadlines and give things my all. Plus, you will find me to be more than just a columnist, but a friend you can rely on. Need someone to help you proofread things? I'm here. Need someone who knows figment and its users? That's me. I have read over 1,000 figment pieces and have connected with many a young writer. I know your audience, and I know how to reach out to them. With me, you will get a writer who (despite the weird name) will work hard and treat the job seriously.


Example of Your Work:
(Here is an article I had published in the "Brian Riot" section of the figment newsletter a while back...)

I bring people the truth – whether or not they want to hear to it. That is why I have often been dragged out of public locations at 3 a.m. due to “noise complaints”. The United States government does not want you to know what I am about to reveal.

The year was 1932. The Great Depression had struck America hard, and no one was struck harder than the Kellogg’s Corporation. People’s fondness for cereal had seemed to fade away with the economy, and William Kellogg was going under. The only way to improve business, it seemed, was to make people believe that cereal was a necessity – so that’s exactly what he did.

February 32nd, 1935 – Kellogg met with President Franklin Roosevelt to discuss a new plan for a healthier America. The operation was known simply as “breakfast” – an initiative to provide people with the energy needed to start the day right. Branded as “the most important meal of the day”, breakfast fever was sure to sweep America – and sweep it did. Cereal sales went through the roof, and Kellogg became a millionaire.

Just remember - every time you fill your bowl with milk, you are really filling cooperate America with cash. Are you "cuckoo" for that?
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://truculency.blogspot.com/
Zaphodora
Dedicated Staff
Dedicated Staff
avatar

Posts : 109
Join date : 2011-06-28
Location : The Far Side

PostSubject: Re: Miserable Existence's Application   Thu Jul 21, 2011 8:43 am

I talked to him on the forums and he said he couldn't get it to work even when he signed up for an account... so I told him I would post it here.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://truculency.blogspot.com/
Matchboxdan
Dedicated Staff
Dedicated Staff
avatar

Posts : 97
Join date : 2011-06-28
Location : Ojai, the city of "artists"

PostSubject: Re: Miserable Existence's Application   Sat Jul 23, 2011 12:58 am

Hi Miserable, your application has been accepted, and you will start as a trial columnist. After your trial period of the publication of two editions, we will decide whether we want to promote you to regular staff, or let you go. If you do get promoted, and continue to do an exceptional job, you may get promoted to dedicated staff. If I have successfully made you a trial columnist, you should be able to view this thread.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://figmentpost.com
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Miserable Existence's Application   

Back to top Go down
 
Miserable Existence's Application
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Lime sulfur application on LIVING wood
» Don't give up on Isoflex
» 8 ACDelco 41-932 Professional Platinum spark plugs
» Where to find the 6AN8 ?
» Any Isoflex?

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Figment Post :: The Figment Post :: Application Desk-
Jump to: